An alumnus of an Outward Bound Veterans sailing expedition off the coast of Maine, Maurice Decaul served in the Marine Corps for nearly five years. He deployed to Nasiriyah, Iraq in 2003 as a squad leader with Weapons Company, 2^nd Battalion, 25^th Marine Regiment. Since transitioning to civilian life, Maurice has received an MFA in creative writing at NYU and is currently working on a second MFA in playwriting at Brown University. He is a passionate advocate for veterans and has volunteered for several organizations that create opportunities for veterans to engage in telling their stories through writing.

This year we are proud to once again publish our 2017 Outward Bound Veterans winter schedule on Veterans Day. We are more than proud to do so while also sharing Maurice’s powerful story about sailing and the kindness found in the middle of the sea.

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Kindness Kept

Hurricane Island, Maine. It’s been more than five years since I was last there. Memories fade, and regrettably, I can no long remember the names of most of my boat crew. I see their faces; young, poised. One man, a soldier, a sniper in the first infantry division, had a weightiness to his countenance, a look I recognize in friends; Marine Scout snipers, Fallujah veterans.

I struggle with knots, but on a boat such as our thirty-footer, knot tying skills are essential.

I think back to our first day, the Atlantic, it is raining, choppy water, night on the horizon. I am struggling with some sort of knot when this man noticing, walks over and uncomplainingly…takes the rope, models how to knot it and allows me to save face by unknotting and handing back to me the rope, so I could finish my assigned task.

He was competent, a quick learner, a patient teacher.

We had known one another for hours, but his kindness towards me is something I have kept.

I had come to Outward Bound at a time in life when I could use some kindness. A time in life, when I was struggling in my personal life. The year before, my wife and I had had our third child. We had also separated and were considering divorce. I don’t recall whether I had shared this bit of my story with my boat crew, but those who have gone through a separation, either as an adult or as a child, are keenly aware of the harmfulness of the experience. How circumstances like these can bring out our less-than-better angels, especially when custody of children is a factor.

In my playwriting classes, I ask students to check in before we begin. Checking in is a practice I have picked up from my mentors. Checking in offers insight into what people are bringing into the room. The check in is received and acknowledged, and the individual is thanked.

If I were to now speculate about what I was bringing into the room, or more precisely on to the boat, perhaps a bit of angst, suppressed anger, defensiveness… but, I was attempting to maintain my PMA. The Marines had taught me to maintain a PMA regardless of my current situation. A Positive Mental Attitude could help you survive the worst experiences.

Chosin, is one of the most iconic battles in US Marine Corps history. The First Marine Division found itself encircled by six Chinese People’s Liberation Army divisions, during one of the coldest winters, with temperatures dropping to negative thirty fahrenheit. The Chinese goal was to not only punish the Marines but also to annihilate one of the most storied units in the Marines Corps. With dual enemies: the subzero temperatures and the PLA waging effective war on First Marine Division, the unit was able to make a fighting withdrawal out of the mountains, escaping annihilation from both enemies. I suspect, that these Marines, as tough as they were, as well trained and equipped as they were, would not have walked away from Chosin if they lacked PMA.

This man’s kindness towards me helped boost my PMA at a time when I was unsure of myself, both on the boat and in the world.

At the 2016 Outward Bound National Benefit Dinner, I was asked to host a conversation between Michael Lewis and several younger alumni from New York City Outward Bound. I asked them to share what they would tell someone about their Outward Bound experiences. The last person to answer was Michael Lewis, and after he answered he posed the question back to me.

I answered by talking about the boat crew and how members of the crew, veterans who had not served together, were able to gel around the mission of learning to and then sailing our boat.

I thought aloud about the positive impact such experiences might have on the larger populace, wondering whether people might be more keen to be good to one another if they were placed in situations requiring trust and team work.

So what is the purpose of an Outward Bounds Veterans expedition?

I suspect the answer to that question has something to do with usefulness or more precisely, engendering in veterans a sense of usefulness while on expedition and perhaps, beyond.

Our boat crew had no choice but to bond. And each member of the crew had his or her role to fill. We all took the opportunity to lead the expedition, exercising leadership skills in pursuance of mission accomplishment. I walked away with a sense of personal accomplishment after the end of expedition. The sense of accomplishment had much to do with my knowing I had done my part, that I had maintained a PMA and had tried to offer my boat crew positive energy.

The trip reminded me of what I had learned in the Marine Corps in regards to facing fear and fear of the unknown.

Every morning began with a jump into the Atlantic, but this stoked a deep reservation in me. I have been wary of the ocean since I was a child. When I was about two years old, my father had taken me out into the water, put me down and walked away. I believe his intent was to force me to learn how to swim, but what I came away from the experience with was a fear of the ocean, and a memory of a wave knocking me down, sand spinning up, and a feeling of helplessness.

The first time I had to learn to get beyond fear of the ocean was during Marine Corps Recruit Training at Paris Island South Carolina. The Marine Corps has traditionally served aboard naval vessels and because of this mission, Marines must know how to swim. In Bootcamp, I was faced with the dilemma of either facing my fear of water or failing out of Bootcamp. Though I didn’t care for the water, I was able to develop a level of competency, allowing me to pass the pool training and ultimately earn the title, Marine.

Outward Bound pushed me in the same way and brought out the same angst and fortitude. I was not going to be the weak link on my boat crew. I would not embarrass myself. I would get beyond my fear and accomplish the mission.

And this is one of the other purposes of the Veterans Program, isn’t it?

Reminding people that they can handle their fears, that a Positive Mental Attitude combined with kindness and shared responsibility to self and to others, have the potential to bring out our best selves.

I took what I learned on expedition back to NY and although my wife and I weren’t able to come to an immediate agreement, I recognized a change in myself… and for this, I am grateful.

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Outward Bound thanks Maurice for sharing this impactful story and urge other service members to experience an expedition for themselves on one of our free programs for veterans. To learn more about the Outward Bound Veterans program or to donate, visit our website.